i was born on march 5, 1984 in a place called weston, wv in a hospital named stonewall jackson memorial hospital. my mom's doctor's name was dr. lively. i was born early in the night, and from what my mom has said, it was a fairly easy delivery. i apparently have always been short....i was 18 inches long and weighed 8 pounds and some odd ounces. i believe that my family probably thought for quite some time that i was a dwarf. anyways...
apparently there was a fight right after i was born. it's never been clearly explained to me, only revealed to me by my mother during fits of anger where she just blurts things out. i guess my dad and his mother got in a fight with my mom and her mother. my dad apparently wanted to see me being born, but then decided not to and waited outside. later i guess he said he felt like he'd been pushed out by my mom's mother, who was the only other person present when i was born. for this reason, the two sides of my family have always had some hostilities towards each other.
the first house i went to after i was born was my great grandpa & grandma furr's. we called him pap, and he died when i was three. he and my dad were really close, and he always really liked me. he had a pair of wind-up chattery teeth that he used to always get out when i'd be there. and they'd always make me tang. lord, did they love their tang.
my room at home, i remember, was not really a typical baby's room. i've seen the photos, and they're almost eerie. it was the room in our trailer that my mom later used as a sewing room....it had a bassinette in it, with a few things on the wall, and a changing table. It had brown linolieum. it just didn't seem like much of a place for a baby. i think i spent most of my time at the foot of my parents' bed, though, in the cradel that my great uncle made for me. i'm not sure when i got my own room. i think it was around one. i actually got the room beside the bizarre one. i had my own bathroom right next to it. i guess there wasn't any reason why i shouldn't have been happy.
my mom always had music playing. 95.1 WXIL. i remember that at three, i could sing just about every song on the radio, or at least parts of it. we had a record player that i messed with a lot, and mom had a bunch of her old 8-tracks that were a huge mystery to me. mostly i liked to stack them up like blocks. my dad was away at work every day, and my mom and i just tinkered around the house. every afternoon she'd give me my lunch in my high chair in the living room, and she'd eat with me. i remember watching a lot of golden girls and night court. (it seems like such bullshit that i can even remember it. but i do.)
i drew my first picture at 2. my mom has it in our safe at home. it's a picture of my dad. around 3 and early in 4, i remember i got a magna-doodle. i spent quite a bit of time with it. i think it was around that time that i really became concious of my mom and dad fighting. i used to draw pictures of us on the magna-doodle. sometimes it was us being happy, and sometimes it was my dad in the kitchen yelling at my mom. i guess that was how i tried to make sense of it. and if one of them stormed back to my room, i could erase it quickly, so they wouldn't know that i'd heard them. in my mind, letting them catch me with the knowledge that they were fighting was the biggest sin i could commit. i guess it still kind of is.
age 3 was also about the time that i started being afraid of the dark. i was afraid of a lot of things, but mostly the giant toy soldier that stood beside my door. no, he was not real. at least, not PHYSICALLY real. in my mind he was though, and he was always there when they tuned off the lights. it got so bad that they bought this little contraption to put over the lightswitch, that had little cords to pull so i could turn the light on by myself. i guess it was getting old, me running to their room every night. i remember having bad dreams a lot. those probably continued up until i was about six. at least, that was when i stopped running to my parents room to wake my mom up for some sort of comfort, and decided i should deal with it on my own.
i guess that's really all i can remember of importance, up until i went to preschool, which is an entirely different story altogether.